Recently I have had several opportunities to reflect on the topic of good communication. I hosted a masterclass on the subject and am developing a workshop to dive deeply into the principles. In this article, I discuss the influences that affect our ability to communicate well and explore how to maximize the impact of what you want to say so that your audience – children, family, co-workers, customers – clearly hear and understand your message.
Have you been misunderstood recently? Have you thought about why that might have happened?
In times of worry and uncertainty, we can become more frustrated with the circumstances AND with the people around us. This reaction, although quite normal, is not useful and only adds to our own feelings of upset and stress. Here are some thoughts on how we can be more proactive and compassionate in our conversations; how becoming aware of our own style and preferences can help us communicate more effectively and compassionately with others.
No relationship can prosper without proper communication. And you can’t be the only one communicating.
What is Communication? As illustrated in the image above, “it is the process of sending and receiving messages through verbal or/ AND nonverbal means”. Seems simple enough, right? We do it all the time. So why is it sometimes so complicated? Why are we able to make ourselves easily understood with some people and not with others? What is at the core of this?
I suggest hitting the pause button from time to time. Stop and reflect on whether the person in front of you has really understood what you are saying. Are you playing your part to be sure communication is easy and clear? You can ask them to tell you what they heard so you can check you are being clear.
Let’s open the door to some of the complexity that is behind good communication. We didn’t learn this at school but we should have because it is so important to our success and happiness. The title of the masterclass is ”Adapting Communication”. When you know the different “codes” you and others have in place, how to recognize them and the skills needed to adapt your communication to be more effective, you feel more confident in all your interactions. This article will give a short overview of key elements of good communication.
Our brains are as unique as our thumbprints. The “code” is the way in which we convert the idea or message we want to convey into communication to deliver to the receiver (the person or persons we want to successfully receive our message).
What are some of the elements that make up the code?
- They are the filters of our past experiences which are unique to us
- The Culture we grew up in
- The Attitudes we learned first from our families and then from our environment
- Our Values
- The knowledge we acquired through learning and life experiences
- Feelings and emotions
Add to the above list the different ways in which we make sense of information: our learning styles, brain dominance and preference, the different mental programs we have in place.
In truth, we are all on a continuum in all of these characteristics but knowing about them, how they show up for us, how we use them can completely change our world. It opens a window into the way in which we live in the world inside our heads…there can be nothing more empowering than to know this information and to use it in the service of ourselves and others.
Communication to a relationship is like oxygen to life, without it …it dies. Tony Gaskins
In subsequent articles, I will highlight the different “code” elements, and give you opportunities to explore for yourself where you are on the continuum of each and how you can make changes and adaptations to become an even more successful communicator.
Please let me know your thoughts. What challenges you have had and in which situations? Your successes that you would be willing to share with us? Please reach out with any thoughts or questions to Isla@pocketconfidant.com. If you want help or support in your communication processes, shoot me an email, I am happy to share tools and insights from my own work.